If you want to color the selected row in a DBGrid but you don't want to use the dgRowSelect option because you want to be able to edit the data you can use the following technique on the DBGrid.OnDrawColumnCell event:

type
  TCustomDBGridCracker = class(TCustomDBGrid);
 
procedure TForm .DBGrid DrawColumnCell(Sender: TObject; 
  const Rect: TRect; DataCol: Integer; Column: TColumn; 
  State: TGridDrawState);
begin
  with Cracker(Sender) do
    if DataLink.ActiveRecord = Row -   then
      Canvas.Brush.Color := clRed
    else
      Canvas.Brush.Color := clWhite;
  DefaultDrawColumnCell(Rect, DataCol, Column, State);
end;